HOW I WORK

We are wired for attachment in a world of impermanence. We yearn for certainty and predictability in a world that, all too often, guarantees neither. These basic facts capture something important that lies at the heart of being human—change and growth can be both profoundly painful and unavoidable. Indeed, to be human is to, in moments, feel hurt or lost, carrying our aching pasts into unknown and scary futures, susceptible to difficult states and sensations of sadness, shame, confusion, isolation, anxiety, disconnection, fear, grief, and stuckness, to name just a few. In this spirit, the central question that concerns my practice is not whether or how we might have wounds, but whether and how our wounds might have us—that is, whether and how they may be blocking personal growth, rather than bringing it about.

While my approach is largely informed by psychodynamic, existential, somatic, gestalt, and mindfulness principles, I believe that effective therapy is a fluid process rather than a fixed position. Just as no two people are exactly alike, no two therapies are exactly the same. For this reason, more than any technique, intervention, or theoretical bent, it is the singular connection I build with each client—and, in particular, the chance to explore, create awareness around, and ultimately refine present and possibly unconscious interpersonal patterns occurring between us, momentarily freed from social expectations or demands—that serve as the spark for lasting transformation.

In my work, I bring undivided and attuned attention to subtle emotional states both spoken and physical, along with a seasoned intuition, a healthy appreciation for experimentation and a healthy suspicion of “common sense”, a love of language and metaphor, humor and humility, authenticity, and a recognition of needing to situate personal issues in their proper historical, socioeconomic, and cultural contexts. I lead with a compassionate but direct style that balances empathy with gentle confrontation, creating equal occasion for levity and depth, all in the service of identifying and removing obstacles that may be preventing more gratifying relationships with oneself and others, as well as increasing tolerance toward and acceptance of the inherent mysteries, tensions, and traumas that come with a life lived in a delicate human body amidst an, at times, indelicate world.

I’ve often said that getting better and feeling better do not always go hand in hand. In other words, doing good therapy will not always feel good. Your willingness to commit to the hard work of self-examination, to risk showing your multitudes and learning more deeply about the full spectrum of your inner emotional life— the savory and the spurned, the peart and the painful—will be honored with sensitivity, dignity, and humanity.

- John